This is the not really a quote page of the aviation quote collection. It’s lines that must have been said by someone first, but whose origins are lost in time. If you have any information on these flying clichés please let me know. It’s kind of amazing how many sayings serious and silly there are:
Aviate, Navigate, Communicate.
Cliché
Truly superior pilots are those who use their superior judgment to avoid those situations where they might have to use their superior skills.
Cliché
Rule one: No matter what else happens, fly the airplane.
Cliché
Flying is hours of boredom, punctuated by moments of stark terror.
Cliché
Fly it until the last piece stops moving.
Cliché
It’s better to be down here wishing you were up there, than up there wishing you were down here.
Cliché
An airplane will probably fly a little bit overgross but it sure won't fly without fuel.
Cliché
Believe your instruments.
Cliché
Think ahead of your airplane.
Cliché
I’d rather be lucky than good.
Cliché
The propeller is just a big fan in the front of the plane to keep the pilot cool. Want proof? Make it stop; then watch the pilot break out into a sweat.
Cliché
If we are what we eat, then some pilots should eat more chicken.
Cliché
I’d rather be a chicken than a turkey.
Cliché
Without fuel, pilots become pedestrians.
Cliché
Regards engine power: Lots is good, more is better, and too much is just enough.
Cliché
If you’re ever faced with a forced landing at night, turn on the landing lights to see the landing area. If you don’t like what you see, turn ’em back off.
Cliché
A checkride ought to be like a skirt, short enough to be interesting but still be long enough to cover everything.
Cliché
Standard checklist philosophy requires that pilots read to each other the actions they perform every flight, and recite from memory those they need every three years.
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Experience is the knowledge that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
Cliché
There are some flight instructors where the student is important, and there are some instructors where the instructor is important. Pick carefully.
Cliché
Speed is life, altitude is life insurance.
Cliché
No one has ever collided with the sky.
Cliché
Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.
Cliché
It’s better to be down here wishing you were up there, than to be up there wishing you were down here.
Cliché
One peek is worth a thousand instrument cross-checks.
Cliché
Experience is a hard teacher. First comes the test, then the lesson.
Cliché
Always remember you fly an airplane with your head, not your hands.
Cliché
Never let an airplane take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.
Cliché
If it’s red or dusty don’t touch it.
Cliché
Don’t drop the aircraft in order to fly the microphone.
Cliché
An airplane flies because of a principle discovered by Bernoulli, not Marconi.
Cliché
Cessna pilots are always found in the wreckage with their hand around the microphone.
Cliché
If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger, if you pull the stick back they get smaller.
Cliché
Don’t ever let an airplane take you someplace where your brain hasn't arrived at least a couple of minutes earlier.
Cliché
To go up, pull the stick back. To go down, pull the stick back harder.
Cliché
Hovering is for pilots who love to fly but have no place to go.
Cliché
Flying is the second greatest thrill known to man — landing is the first.
Cliché
Every one already knows the definition of a good landing is one from which you can walk away. But very few know the definition of a great landing. It’s one after which you can use the airplane another time.
Cliché
Definition of ‘pilot’: The first one to arrive at the scene of an aircraft accident.
Cliché
The probability of survival is equal to the angle of arrival.
Cliché
There are two types of tailwheel (or retractable gear) pilots: those who have ground-looped (landed gear up) and those that will.
Cliché
If you’ve got time to spare, go by air. (More time yet? Go by jet.)
Cliché
IFR: I Follow Roads.
Cliché
You know you’ve landed with the wheels up when it takes full power to taxi.
Cliché
If you don’t gear up your brain before takeoff, you’ll probably gear up your airplane on landing.
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Navy carrier pilots regard Air Force pilots: Flare to land, squat to pee.
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Air Force pilots regard Navy carrier pilots: Next time a war is decided by how well you land on a carrier, I’m sure our Navy will clean up. Until then, I’ll worry about who spends their training time flying and fighting.
Cliché
Navy pilots regard Air Force formation flying skills: Same way, same day.
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The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and a good shit. A night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities to experience all three at the same time.
Cliché
A kill is a kill.
Cliché
He who sees first, lives longest.
Cliché
Fighter pilots make movies, attack pilots make history.
Cliché
In thrust I trust.
Cliché
Jet noise: The sound of freedom.
Cliché
I had a fighter pilot’s breakfast — two aspirin, a cup of coffee and a puke.
Cliché
Those who hoot with the owls by night should not fly with the eagles by day.
Cliché
Fly with the eagles, or scratch with the chickens.
Cliché
It only takes two things to fly — airspeed and money.
Cliché
Forget all that stuff about thrust and drag, lift and gravity — an airplane flies because of money.
Cliché
Do you see that propeller? Well, everything behind it revolves around money.
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The similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies. If ATC screws up, the pilot dies.
Cliché
What’s the difference between a duck and a co-pilot? The duck can fly.
Cliché
I’m from the FAA, and I’m here to help.
Cliché
A smooth touchdown in a simulator is as exciting as kissing your sister.
Cliché
A helicopter is a collection of rotating parts going round and round and reciprocating parts going up and down — all of them trying to become random in motion.
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Helicopters can't really fly — they’re just so ugly that the earth immediately repels them.
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Helicopters don’t fly. They beat the air into submission.
Cliché
Chopper pilots get it up quicker.
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Flying helicopters is like masturbation; you enjoy it while it’s happening but you’re kind of embarrassed when you’re done.
Cliché
Helicopters don’t fly, they just vibrate against the earth and the earth rejects them into the air.
Cliché
Helicopters are for people who want to fly but don’t want to go anywhere.
Cliché
It’s better to break ground and head into the wind than to break wind and head into the ground.
Cliché
The owner’s guide that comes with a $500 refrigerator makes more sense than the one that comes with a $50 million airliner.
Cliché
If it doesn’t work, rename it. If that doesn't help, the new name isn’t long enough.
Cliché
Federal Aviation Regulations are worded either by the most stupid lawyers in Washington, or the most brilliant.
Cliché
Flying is not Nintendo. You don’t push a button and start over.
Cliché
The seven P's: Proper Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance.
Cliché
The future in aviation is the next 30 seconds. Long-term planning is an hour and a half.
Cliché
Life is lead points and habit patterns.
Cliché
Gravity — killer of young adults.
Cliché
I’m not speeding officer — I’m just flying low.
Cliché
The only thing that scares me about flying is the drive to the airport.
Cliché
Young man, was that a landing or were we shot down?
Cliché
Sorry folks for the hard landing. It wasn’t the pilot’s fault, and it wasn’t the plane’s fault. It was the asphalt.
Cliché
Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.
Cliché
Three things kill young pilots in Alaska — weather, weather, and weather.
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Please don’t tell Mum I’m a pilot, she thinks I play piano in a whorehouse.
Cliché
Pilots believe in clean living. They never drink whiskey from a dirty glass.
Cliché
Never ask a man if he is a fighter pilot. If he is, he’ll let you know. If he isn’t, don’t embarrass him.
Cliché
FAA Regulations forbid drinking within 8 feet of the aircraft and smoking within 50 hours of flight. Or is it the other way around?
Cliché
Fly low and slow and don’t tip on the turns.
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There are no new ways to crash airplanes.
Cliché
An accident investigation hearing is conducted by non-flying experts who need six months to itemize all the mistakes made by a crew in the six minutes it had to do anything.
Cliché
Things which do you no good in aviation: Altitude above you. Runway behind you. Fuel in the truck. A navigator. Half a second ago. Approach plates in the car. The airspeed you don’t have.
Cliché
It is far better to arrive late in this world than early in the next.
Cliché
You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.
Cliché
The more traffic at an airport, the better it is handled.
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If God meant man to fly, God would have given him baggy, Nomex skin.
Cliché
If God had wanted the army to fly, God would have made the sky brown.
Cliché
If God meant man to fly, God would have given us bigger wallets.
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If God meant man to fly, God would have made our bones hollow, not our heads.
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If God meant man to fly, God would have given us enough money for a Bonanza.
Cliché
If God meant man to fly, he would have made us flush-riveted.
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What’s the difference between God and pilots? God doesn't think he's a pilot.
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Will Rogers never met a fighter pilot.
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To err is human, to forgive is divine — neither of which is Air Force policy.
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Flying is not dangerous — crashing is dangerous.
Cliché
You can land anywhere once.
Cliché
Every landing is a controlled crash, just some better controlled than others.
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Flying is the perfect vocation for a man who wants to feel like a boy, but not for one who still is.
Cliché
There are four ways to fly: The right way, the wrong way, the company way, and the captain’s way. Only one counts.
Cliché
A good simulator check ride is like successful surgery on a cadaver.
Cliché
Asking what a pilot thinks about the FAA is like asking a fireplug what it thinks about dogs.
Cliché
Crime wouldn't pay if the FAA took it over, and it would go bankrupt if an airline management did.
Cliché
I want to die like my grandfather did, peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
Cliché
Trust your captain — but keep your seatbelt securely fastened.
Cliché
An airplane may disappoint a good pilot, but it won't surprise him.
Cliché
Winds aloft reports are of incomparable value — to historians.
Cliché
Any pilot who relies on a terminal forecast can be sold the Brooklyn (or London) Bridge. If he relies on winds-aloft reports, he can be sold Niagara Falls (or The Tower of London).
Cliché
The difference between flight attendants and jet engines is that the engine usually quits whining when it gets to the gate.
Cliché
The friendliest stewardesses are those on the trip home.
Cliché
Out on the line, all the girls are looking for husbands and all the husbands are looking for girls.
Cliché
The most nerve-wracking of airline duties? Flight engineer on a proving run flown by two chief pilots.
Cliché
Good judgment comes from experience and experience comes from bad judgment.
Cliché
Being an airline pilot would be great if you didn't have to go on all those trips.
Cliché
Aviation is not so much a profession as it is a disease.
Cliché
The nicer an airplane looks, the better it flies.
Cliché
Why did God invent women when airplanes were so much fun?
Cliché
Remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous?
Cliché
If it flies, floats, or fucks — it’s always cheaper to rent than to buy.
Cliché
Renting airplanes is like renting sex: It's difficult to arrange on short notice on a Saturday, the fun things always cost more, and someone’s always looking at their watch.
Cliché
Jet and piston engines work on the same principle — suck, squeeze, bang, blow.
Cliché
Modern air travel would be very enjoyable — if I could only learn to enjoy boredom, discomfort, and fatigue.
Cliché
You can always depend on twin engine aircraft. When the first engine quits, the second will surely fly you to the scene of an accident.
Cliché
The real value of twin engine aircraft is that it will double your chances of engine failure.
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CAUTION: Aviation may be hazardous to your wealth.
Cliché
If it ain't broke, don’t fix it — if it ain't fixed, don’t fly it.
Cliché
A mechanic's favorite: It’s not a leak, it’s a seep.
Cliché
And another: If it won't budge, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
Cliché
If it’s ugly, it’s British. If it’s weird, it’s French. If it’s ugly and weird, it’s Russian.
Cliché
The worst day of flying still beats the best day of real work.
Cliché
A male pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when he's flying, and about flying when he’s with a woman.
Cliché
Regarding aerobatics: It’s like having sex and being in a car wreck at the same time.
Cliché
New FAA motto: We’re not happy, till you’re not happy.
Cliché
A grease-job landing is 50 percent luck. Two in a row are entirely luck. Three in a row and someone’s lying.
Cliché
There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing — unfortunately, no one knows what they are.
Cliché
It’s a good landing if you can still get the doors open.
Cliché
First, listen to the question the student asked, then listen to the question he didn't ask, and figure out the question he really meant to ask.
Cliché
Airspeed, altitude, or brains — you always need at least two.
Cliché
A ground school instructor understands piloting the way an astronomer understands the stars.
Cliché
Every ground school class includes one ass who, at 5 minutes before 5, asks a question requiring a 20-minute explanation.
Cliché
Gravity — it’s not just a good idea, it's the law.
Cliché
The law of gravity is not a general rule.
Cliché
You can only tie the record for flying low.
Cliché
Flying at night is the same as flying in the day, except you can’t see.
Cliché
If at first you don’t succeed, well, so much for skydiving.
Cliché
It is easier to cope with a single in-flight problem than a series of minor ones. Real trouble must be swallowed in small doses.
Cliché
It is said that two wrongs do not make a right, but two Wrights do make an aeroplane.
Cliché
When starting an aviation career it is not unusual to be overwhelmed, terrified, suffer from lack of confidence, and be just plain scared. As experience grows, self-confidence replaces fear. But after a time, when you think you have seen it all, you realize your initial reactions to flying were correct.
Cliché
Passengers prefer old captains and young flight attendants.
Cliché
A captain with little confidence in his crew usually has little in himself.
Cliché
The only soul more pitiful than a captain who cannot make up his mind is the copilot who has to fly with him.
Cliché
The sharpest captains are the easiest to work with.
Cliché
The only thing worse than a captain who never flew as copilot is a copilot who once was a captain.
Cliché
Be nice to your first officer; he may be your captain at your next airline.
Cliché
A copilot is a knothead until he spots opposite direction traffic at 12 o’clock, after which he's a goof-off for not seeing it sooner.
Cliché
A captain is two flight engineers sewn together.
Cliché
Everything in the company manual — policy, warnings, instructions, the works — can be summed up to read: Captain, it’s your baby.
Cliché
Nothing is more optimistic than a dispatcher’s estimated time of departure.
Cliché
Clocks lie — an 18-hour layover passes much quicker than an 8-hour day.
Cliché
Any pilot who does not privately consider himself the best in the game is in the wrong game.
Cliché
As a pilot, only two bad things can happen to you, and one of them will. Either one day you will walk out to the aircraft knowing it is your last flight, or one day you will walk out to the airplane not knowing it is your last flight.
Cliché
For those who don’t care, fly military air.
Cliché
Without ammunition, the Air Force would be just another expensive flying club.
Cliché
Jets are just an expensive way of changing JP-4 into noise.
Cliché
It’s best to keep the pointed end going forward as much as possible.
Cliché
Assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups.
Cliché
If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.
Cliché
The average pilot, despite the sometimes swaggering exterior, is very much capable of such feelings as love, affection, intimacy, and caring. These feelings just don’t involve anyone else.
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Gravity is bullshit: The Earth sucks.
Cliché
It’s better to die than to look bad, but it is possible to do both.
Cliché
Death is a small price to pay for looking shit hot.
Cliché
Work hard, fly hard, play hard, and stay hard.
Cliché
If something hasn't broken on your helicopter — it’s about to.
Cliché
Helicopters are really a bunch of parts flying in relatively close formation; all rotating around a different axis. Things work well until one of the parts breaks formation.
Cliché
The three most dangerous things in aviation are a doctor in a Bonanza, two captains in a DC-9, and a flight attendant with a chipped tooth.
Cliché
What do you call a pregnant flight attendant? Pilot error.
Cliché
Nothing flies without fuel — so let’s start with some coffee.
Cliché
One of the beautiful things about a single piloted aircraft is the quality of the social experience.
Cliché
We are from the FAA and we are here to help — and everything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.
Cliché
What separates flight attendants from the lowest form of life on earth? The cockpit door.
Cliché
The three most common phrases in airline aviation are 'Was that for us?', 'What'd he say?', and 'Oh Shit!'. Since computers are now involved in flying, a new one has been added: 'What's it doing now?'
Cliché
If an earthquake suddenly opened a fissure in a runway that caused an accident, the NTSB would find a way to blame it on pilot error.
Cliché
The most sensitive mechanism in modern aviation is the shower control in a layover hotel.
Cliché
If flying were the language of man, soaring would be its poetry.
Cliché
If I had a buck for every time I heard 'I always wanted to be a pilot', but lost a buck when hearing the expression, 'I wish I spent more time with my kids' — how rich am I?
Cliché
Any attempt to stretch fuel is guaranteed to increase headwinds.
Cliché
Any comment about how well things are going is an absolute guarantee of trouble.
Cliché
A terminal forecast is a horoscope with numbers.
Cliché
A thunderstorm is never as bad on the inside as it appears on the outside. It’s worse.
Cliché
Below 20, boys are too rash for flying. Above 25, they are too prudent.
Cliché
Son, I was flying airplanes for a living when you were still in liquid form.
Cliché
I give that landing a 9 — on the Richter scale.
Cliché
Most airline food tastes like warmed-over chicken because that’s what it is.
Cliché
I hate to wake up and find my co-pilot asleep.
Cliché
Everything is accomplished through teamwork until something goes wrong; then one pilot gets all the blame.
Cliché
In a world in which we are all slaves to the laws of gravity, I’m proud to be counted as one of them freedom fighters. Skydive!
Cliché
If it ain’t Boeing — I ain’t going.
Cliché
Let’s make a 360 and get the hell out of here!?!
Cliché
Don’t trust nobody and don’t do nothing dumb.
Cliché
One who flies with fear encourages fate.
Cliché
It’s easy to make a small fortune in aviation — You start with a large fortune.
Cliché
If it doesn’t work, rename it; if that doesn’t help, the new name isn’t long enough.
Cliché
Pilots are just plane people with a special air about them.
Cliché
There I was at forty thousand feet when the autopilot jumped out with the only parachute on board and left me with nothing but a silk worm and a sewing kit.
Cliché
There I was at 15,000 feet with nothing on the clock but the maker’s name — and that was on the back and peeling.
Cliché
There I was, fog was so thick I couldn’t see the instruments. Only way I knew I was inverted was my flying medals were in my eyes. But I knew I was really in trouble when the tower called me and told me to climb and maintain field elevation.
Cliché
The RF-4E Phantom — living proof that if you put enough engine on something, even a brick could fly.
Cliché
When the last Blackhawk helicopter goes to the boneyard, it’ll be on a sling under a Huey.
Cliché
Flying helicopters is like masturbating. It feels good while you’re doing it, but you’re ashamed to tell anyone afterwards.
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If you don’t know who the world’s greatest fighter pilot is — It ain't you.
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Better to be on the ground wishing to be in the air than in the air wishing to be on the ground.
Cliché
Keep the shiny side up and the greasy side down.
Cliché
Don’t forget to keep the blue side up.
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When you’re sitting in the rubber raft looking up where your airplane used to be, it’s too late to check the flight plan.
Cliché
A fool and his money are soon flying more airplane than he can handle.
Cliché
Aviation has created many millionaires, primarily from the ranks of multi-millionaires.
Cliché
Some pilots will make an emergency out of a bad magneto check. Others, upon losing a wing, will ask for a lower altitude.
Cliché
Definition of a complex airplane — Landing a taildragger on pavement with a 20-knot quartering crosswind.
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When a forecaster talks about yesterday’s weather, he’s a historian. When he talks about tomorrow’s, he’s reading tea leaves.
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The main thing is to take care of the main thing.
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Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding it.
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A thunderstorm is nature’s way of saying 'up yours'.
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Learning a little about flying is like leading a tiger by the tail — the end does not justify his means.
Cliché
In the aviation business, you can’t get something for nothing. But if you aren’t careful, you’ll get nothing for something.
Cliché
The last thing every pilot does before leaving the aircraft after making a gear-up landing is to put the gear selection lever in the 'down' position.
Cliché
Remember, you’re always a student in an airplane.
Cliché
Keep looking around; there’s always something you’ve missed.
Cliché
Fuel in the tanks is limited. Gravity is forever.
Cliché
Never trust a fuel gauge.
Cliché
Try to keep the number of your landings equal to the number of your takeoffs.
Cliché
Takeoffs are optional. Landings are mandatory.
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Son, if you’re trying to impress me with your flying, relax. Most of the time I can't even impress myself.
Cliché
Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees, and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there.
Cliché
Flight Instructor Favorites
You don’t know what you don’t know.
Much of what you think you know is incorrect.
Together, we must find out why you don’t know what you don’t know.
It is practice of the right kind that makes perfect.
You will never do well if you stop doing better.
Students never fail, only teachers do.
A student’s performance is not so much a reflection on the student, as it is on the instructor’s ability to teach.
Learning is not a straight line up. Let the teacher set the standards of performance.
Much of learning to fly is to unlearn preconceptions and habits.
The way you are first taught and learn a procedure is the way you will react in an emergency. It’s important to learn right the first time.
Unlearning is a very necessary and difficult part of learning to fly.
You learn according to what you bring into the situation.
Being prepared for a flight saves you money by saving time.
Given the choice, make the safe decision.
If you must make a mistake, make it a new one.
One problem is a problem, two problems are a hazard; three problems create accidents.
Trusting to luck alone is not conducive to an extended flying career.
We progress through repeated success; we learn through our mistakes.
An instructor’s knowledge is proportional to the mistakes they’ve made.
Good habits deteriorate over time.
Accidents happen when you run out of experience.
Self-instruction is the garden that raises bad habits.
Our failures teach us. If you want to increase your chances of success double your failure rate.
Almost always. Nothing is always.
Luck will do for skill, but not consistently.
The nice thing about a mistake is the pleasure it gives others.
You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.
Flying, like life, is full of precluded possibilities. Can't do, won't do, shouldn't do.
What you know is not as important as what you do with it.
Cliché
Why an Airplane is Better Than a Woman (or a Man).
Airplane skin doesn’t wrinkle as badly.
Airplanes don’t take forever to warm up.
Airplanes like to do it inverted.
It's easier to get ‘trim’ in an airplane.
You can keep an airplane from stalling.
Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a switch.
An airplane won’t slap you for being a bush pilot.
You don’t always have to be on top to ride an airplane.
An airplane doesn’t ask you to put on a raincoat before entry.
An airplane’s thrust to weight ratio is higher.
You can easily leave an airplane before sunrise.
Airplane exhaust fumes smell better.
Airplanes lose weight faster.
An airplane does not get mad if you touch and go.
An airplane will not get mad if you ride someone else’s airplane.
An airplane’s cockpit is cleaner.
You can calculate the peak performance of an airplane.
An airplane is easy to roll over.
You can still activate a sixty-year-old airplane.
Up to five people can ride in the cockpit of an airplane.
Airplanes last longer.
Airplanes don’t droop after many years.
You can always tell when an airplane is going to give out.
An airplane moves when you tell it to.
An airplane will kill you quick — a woman takes her time.
An airplane does not object to a preflight inspection.
An airplane will let you use your dip stick anytime you want.
Airplanes don’t make you pull-out to eject.
You can change the looks of an airplane.
Airplanes come with manuals.
A 747 can keep you up for 14 hours.
Airplanes have strict weight and balance limits.
When you put fuel into an airplane, it does not spit it out.
Airplane curves never sag.
Airplanes last longer.
Airplanes don’t get pregnant.
You can fly an airplane any time of the month.
Airplanes don’t have parents.
Airplanes don’t whine unless something is really wrong.
You can share your airplane with your friends.
If your airplane makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.
If your airplane smokes, you can do something about it.
Airplanes don’t care about how many other airplanes you have flown.
When flying, you and your airplane both arrive at the same time.
Airplanes don’t care about how many other airplanes you have.
Airplanes don’t mind if you look at other airplanes, or if you buy airplane magazines.
If your airplane is too loose, you can tighten it.
You don’t have to be jealous of the guy that works on your airplane.
You don’t have to deal with priests or blood tests to register your airplane.
You don’t have to convince your airplane that you’re a pilot and that you think that all airplanes are equals.
If you say bad things to your airplane, you don’t have to say you're sorry before you can fly it again.
You can fly an airplane as long as you want and it won't get sore.
Your parents don’t remain in touch with your old airplane after you dump it.
Airplanes always feel like going for a ride.
Airplanes don’t insult you if you are a bad pilot.
It's always OK to use tie downs on your airplane.
Your airplane never wants a night out alone with the other airplanes.
Airplanes don’t care if you are late.
You don’t have to take a shower before flying your airplane.
Cliché
The Greatest Lies in Aviation
I’m from the FAA and I’m here to help you.
Me? I’ve never busted minimums.
We will be on time, maybe even early.
Pardon me, ma’am, I seem to have lost my jet keys.
I have no interest in flying for the airlines.
I fixed it right the first time, it must have failed for other reasons.
All that turbulence spoiled my landing.
I’m a member of the mile high club.
I only need glasses for reading.
I broke out right at minimums.
The weather is gonna be alright; it's clearing to VFR.
Don’t worry about the weight and balance — it’ll fly.
If we get a little lower I think we’ll see the lights.
I’m 22, got 6000 hours, a four-year degree and 3000 hours in a Lear.
We shipped the part yesterday.
All you have to do is follow the book.
This plane outperforms the book by 20 percent.
We in aviation are overpaid, underworked, and well respected.
Oh sure, no problem, I’ve got over 2000 hours in that aircraft.
I have 5000 hours total time, 3200 are actual instrument.
No need to look that up, I’ve got it all memorized.
Sure I can fly it — it has wings, doesn’t it?
We’ll be home by lunchtime.
Your plane will be ready by 2 o’clock.
I’m always glad to see the FAA.
We fly every day — we don’t need recurrent training.
It just came out of annual — how could anything be wrong?
I thought YOU took care of that.
I’ve got the field in sight.
I’ve got the traffic in sight.
Of course I know where we are.
I’m SURE the gear was down.
Cliché
In days gone by, I’ve proved my worth
By zooming low across the earth.
I’ve buzzed the valleys and the mountain ridges,
I’ve dove my craft beneath the bridges.
I’ve looped and spun and rolled my wings,
I’ve sung the songs that pilots sing.
I’ve tried most stunts, it must be said,
Yet never learnt to use my head.
So here’s a toast - To you and me!
But you drink both, I’m dead … you see.
Cliché
Bite into my wing and don’t say anything but ‘2’, ‘bingo’, and ‘Lead, you’re on fire’.
Cliché
Briefing to a novice USAF wingman. Translates as stay close, acknowledge channel changes, tell me when you’re out of gas and let me know if there is something wrong with my aircraft. Otherwise, shut up.
Son, your wife’s legs have more time in the air than you do.
Cliché
Welcome to a new co-pilot from an old captain.
Son, I’ve got more time sitting on the lav in this airliner than you have total time.
CLiché
Welcome to a new co-pilot from an old captain. Also heard as “I’ve got more time in the flare” and “I’ve got more time in the bunk”.
Lieutenant, the missiles I’ve fired have more flight time than you do.
Cliché
Welcome to the squadron, nugget.
Throttle back son, you’re not going to make the boat go any faster.
Cliché
Aircraft carrier Air Boss, to flight students on initial carrier qualifications who stay at maximum power after they have been jerked to a stop by the arresting gear.
Tower, ‘a/c call sign’, three in the breeze, over the trees, last hop for a full stop.
Cliché
Phrase U.S. Navy student pilots in Pensacola could say on their last hop - if they said it without messing up they'd get an ‘above’ rating on radio comms.
I ran out of altitude, airspeed and ideas all at the same time.
Cliché
When asked why he ejected. Attributed to Tony Lavier, Chuck Yeager, and just about every other well-known hot-shot test pilot
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